It’s to be expected that the main protagonist of Archer, Sterling Archer, has the best quotes in the series. Sterling Archer has some great lines, whether it’s a catchphrase, one-liner, or a comeback. Sterling’s best quotes are plentiful, if not a tad rude. However, the rudeness is to be expected when one remembers that Archer is an adult-animated comedy, and these quotes have every inclination that it’s a show too inappropriate for kids.
As the leading and deadliest spy, Sterling Archer sure is full of himself. He gloats, he’s selfish, he’s confident, all the negative things a prideful human can be. Except, Sterling Archer more than makes up for it with his brilliant quotes.
9 “I’ll Rub Sand In Your Dead Little Eyes.”
Few characters suffer the torment and endure the torture that Sterling Archer puts his butler through. Poor Woodhouse is the butt of many jokes and the object of many of Sterling’s frustrations. In one such instance, Sterling’s insults and threats to Woodhouse stand out from the rest.
Considering Sterling was raised by Woodhouse, it makes his treatment of him even more horrible, yet, it remains funny. The idea of Woodhouse having “dead little eyes” is ridiculous, but the threat of Sterling rubbing sand in them is just outrageous.
8 “That’s How You Get Ants.”
One of the many running gags in Archer is when one of the characters will say “That’s how you get ants.” This line has been spoken by practically all the main cast, but some of the best deliveries have been from Sterling, who seems extremely frustrated every time he sees a situation where ants could get involved.
It’s one of the longest-running gags in the show and was first introduced in the first episode of the first season. It usually revolves around the general untidiness of the offices, and the frequent spilled food and drink, spoken by both Sterling and Malory. Like mother, like son!
7 “I Am Commandeering This Airboat!”
Part of the charm of this quote comes from the fact that Sterling fulfilled a lifelong goal of saying it. Finally, Sterling had the opportunity to utter the phrase “I am commandeering this airboat!” Partly successful, specifically because he was pointing a shotgun at the owner’s face.
Only Sterling could pull off such a stunt, and somehow make a quote about an airboat sound somewhat cool. The shotgun certainly helps. It’s one of many quotes from Sterling that audiences try to replicate in real life, or await the opportunity to do so.
6 “Babou!”
Nothing seemed to excite Sterling more than when he discovered that his co-worker and friend Cheryl had an ocelot as a pet. He had never seen an ocelot, and to learn that Cheryl had purchased an ocelot and named it Babou was an element of joy in Sterling’s life. Sterling always repeats Babou’s name, as if the little ocelot is a celebrity that graces Sterling with a visit.
Despite Sterling’s adoration for Babou, and the way he talks to him like a human, Babou is still an ocelot, and is no stranger to biting, clawing, and trying to eat Sterling. Nevertheless, Sterling continues to try and play with Babou.
5 “I’m Scared If I Stop Drinking All At Once, The Cumulative Hangover Will Literally Kill Me.”
For some, this quote from Sterling may seem rather relatable. Although, hopefully, audiences of Archer don’t find the deathly alcoholism of Sterling and Malory Archer as relatable. It’s a fun quote that shows the smart and quick wit of Sterling, who claims that if he ever stops drinking, it’s more than likely that he will die of alcohol poisoning.
It’s a quote that perfectly sums up how much Sterling Archer drinks, and his excuse for why he will continue, day after day. Many that enjoy a good drink, or an awful hangover for the next day, may have use for this Sterling quote.
4 “Does Internet Porn Know You’re Cheating On It?”
One of the many horrible remarks made towards Cyril Figgis, but no one can deny that it is a good one at that. There are plenty of cold burns that the characters in Archer provide one of their own, Cyril Figgis. This burn is especially hot, as it’s a rather good insult, no one can deny.
It’s always fun to see one of the characters use their wit against Cyril, who is often unphased or blatantly annoyed by the comments made towards him. He’s certainly the group’s punching bag, and Sterling certainly abuses that fact.
3 “Lana. Lana. LANAAAAAAAA.”
If Sterling loves annoying anyone more than Cyril, then it is his love interest, Lana. Lana knows Sterling probably better than anyone, except his mother and butler. However, what Lana still doesn’t know, is just how far he will go to get under her skin. Lana has a very short temper, and as soon as Sterling shouts “LANAAAA.” She loses it, and he just laughs, knowing he has won.
It’s always funny when Sterling annoys Lana, especially considering that they have a child together. Sterling certainly has a talent for killing, spy espionage, and annoying Lana Kane.
2 “Phrasing.”
Another reoccurring joke involved in the Archer series is that a character will often say something compromising, or that could sound somewhat sexual in nature unless explained. Sterling, having such a dirty mind, will often interrupt and say “phrasing”, as to indicate to everyone in the room that people spoke sexually.
It can come off as rather annoying to other characters since Sterling will see almost any sentence with an innuendo. However, it does not stop other characters from actually using this quote themselves.
1 “Danger Zone.”
Sterling Archer loves a few things, but the 1986 song by Kenny Loggins, Danger Zone, is certainly high on that list. Sterling often uses the song’s title to annoy Lana Kane, making her aware of the underscored sexual tension between the two of them. He also uses it when there’s obvious danger arising, and a frequent running gag that Lana Kane is victim to.
There’s always a chuckle to be had when Sterling is annoying Lana, and his adoration for the phrase “danger zone” is certainly one of the more funny ones. Especially when he chuckles before saying it, or even whispering it in her ear.
Archer is available on Hulu and Amazon Prime